Why the Name “Embodied Betrayal Healing”?
When I chose the name Embodied Betrayal Healing, I knew it might make some people uncomfortable. I was told, and even thought myself, that it might be “too specific,” or “too triggering,” and that perhaps I should use something softer – something more neutral, more spiritual, or more palatable.
But betrayal is specific, accurate and honest. It can tend to be a jarring word, but it shouldn’t be. It’s the actual clinical term for what happens when a person (or people) who matter to you choose to break your reality, with intention, cloaked in trust, and for personal gain. Betrayal is not an accident. Betrayal is a decision someone makes to gain something or preserve their comfort at the cost of another person. It’s not just about the nervous system being in survival mode, and it’s not “just” sadness or confusion or heartbreak. It’s about the total collapse of the self-image and worldview that came from trusting others, and the rebuilding that hopefully comes after.
And your body knows it. In my opinion, betrayal causes a unique pain – one that I believe could have a greater tendency to manifest in the body. I’m offering body-based tools for healing that can be helpful for trauma healing in general, but I’m also validating and giving voice to the specific kind of injury that betrayal inflicts.
I chose “Embodied” because betrayal doesn’t just affect your thoughts. I’m a PT – I consider the body every day, and we all live in our own bodies. What I have seen, and experienced myself, is that recovering from betrayal hijacks your nervous system. It changes how you sleep, eat, breathe. It leaves you exhausted, jumpy, nauseous and unable to focus. It stimulates inflammation and the resurfacing of old injuries. It makes you feel like your body is betraying you. But it’s not. It’s protecting you. I believe that real healing begins when we stop pathologizing those responses and start listening to them and acknowledging them for what they are.
I have a duty to myself and those I wish to help to always be honest, especially in the aftermath of people who were not honest with me at my expense. And I chose this name to be honest. To be specific. To stay in the lane I’m qualified to speak from - as someone who has lived it, studied it, and is here to help others navigate it. And to separate this space from the many excellent but general wellness sites out there. The right women will see it. If that feels too intense for some people, that’s okay. This space isn’t for everyone.
The word “betrayal” is not a word I feel should be used lightly. I’ve stopped trying to communicate that betrayal pain IS “that bad” - because most people who have not experienced cannot understand the depth of destruction it creates. Those who have, do. I chose “Betrayal” because I want the women who HAVE been through it - the women who are up at 3am Googling “why can’t I function after he lied to me for years”, or “why does my body hurt when I wasn’t physically harmed” - to find this space and exhale. I want them to see the word and feel recognized, not shamed. I want them to feel understood in the way that I didn’t feel understood. I want them to know: this is not your fault. You are not weak. You are responding to a form of trauma that is real, devastating, and deeply physical. I want women to Google “embodied” and “healing” - and “betrayal” - and find this space. I want to help. Welcome. I see you.