Symptoms Before Truth: How the Body Speaks When We’re Not Ready to Hear
As a Physical Pherapist for over 30 years, I’ve become increasingly intuitive when it comes to reading the bodies of others. I can often sense when something deeper is going on - when a patient’s pain is about more than biomechanics.
What I wasn’t nearly as skilled at was reading my own body.
It wasn’t that I didn’t notice symptoms - it's that I didn’t yet know what they meant. Only later, after betrayal came to light, did the pieces begin to fit.
Charleston, South Carolina
A couple of years ago, I went on what should have been a joyful girls’ trip. I was with dear friends in a relaxed, beautiful setting. But the entire weekend, I was riddled with nausea. I couldn’t eat more than a few bites of the amazing food in front of me. I couldn’t rally in the evenings like I normally would. Something was off.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the very weekend my husband began an affair. With my lifelong best friend.
My body knew before I did.
Then Came the Lips
Months later, still unaware of the deep betrayal that I was soon to experience, I developed severe and sudden lip pain. Out of nowhere, bending down to tie my shoes, it felt like my lips were being ripped apart. It lasted for months. I could barely eat. I couldn’t go anywhere without carrying liquid Lidocaine to apply to my lips before eating or drinking.
Tests showed nothing. I saw every specialist you can think of - dermatology, allergy, infectious disease. No answers. But I wasn’t imagining it. There was a discoloration that was very real, but nothing else.
At the same time, I was walking on eggshells at home. My husband criticized everything - from how I grieved my parents to the groceries I bought to how I parked the car. There was no space for my feelings. I didn’t know it yet, but at home I was actively being betrayed by some of the very people I trusted most in the world during this very time.
And then my Acupuncturist and friend said something I’ll never forget: “You had no voice.”
That hit me like lightning. Of course. My lips weren’t just hurting. My voice - my expression, my safety, my ability to speak truth - had been under attack.
Why This Matters
I share this not just as a story of betrayal, but as a reminder that our bodies are wise.
You may have unexplained symptoms. Chronic pain, digestive issues, panic responses, energy crashes - things that don’t seem to “add up” on paper.
But your nervous system doesn’t wait for conscious awareness. It reacts to threat and tension and betrayal, even if you haven’t fully registered the source.
We don't have to wait for the truth to be revealed to start supporting the nervous system.
What You Can Do
Even without all the answers, we can support our bodies:
Practice listening to symptoms without judgment — ask, “What might this be trying to tell me?”
Try gentle grounding routines like body scanning, breathing, or mindful movement
Use physical tools to down-regulate the nervous system — vagus nerve stimulation, cold or warm water, co-regulation
Give yourself permission to feel something even if you can’t explain it yet
We may not always recognize why a sensation is showing up—but with care, time, and curiosity, we can learn to decode the messages.
Our bodies tell the truth. We just need to learn how to listen.